Day 19th...

i hate you so much more than you hate me... i hate you for asking me to love you more in the first place.. i could have done my work... i could have hung out with my friends.. i could have spend time with you... but no.. you wanted me to spend most of my time with you... i did.. even when i'm working, i gave you calls... i wanted you to know i'm always thinking of you, that you are always on my mind.. i spent lesser times with my friends because i'm afraid to disappoint you... i wanted to make more time for you, to show you how much i care for you.. all the small things i've done for you may not be significant to you, but all my insignificants are out for you... but you never feel it's enough.. i know you cared for me too and did things to make both of us happy... but do you still care anymore..? it's over... i hate to go to places we been.. i went to town for a walk and all i can see is our faded memories... i hate to be at home because all i see is you around.. your toothbrush... your make-up remover... your slippers.. i hate to see it everytime i'm at home... i started to hang out at places i never liked to go.. i picked up drinking which i never like... but at least it would make me sleep better at night now.. i know im useless for a guy... i could have accomplish so much things but i gave it up because of you.. and now i'm just a useless one to you...

why did you ask me to love you with all my heart.. and one day walk out of my life without a single word to say to me anymore... i've said words i shouldn't say.. i shouldn't have pushed you off the ground... i didn't mean it.. everything was just too sudden that everything happened.. we exchanged words out of anger... but no.. till now you are still the same...