haven't been feeling good since last week.. everything is falling apart... suddenly i feel my dreams, my hopes and my goals everything vanished.. had been having different dreams every night, but with the same person over and over again... just when i thought everything was going to be fine, once i open my eyes reality strikes back.. and foreseeing the life i'm gonna lead the rest of my 2 years, lesser training... means lesser fights, means bad body condition.. wouldn't be able to reach out to the people i wanted to talk to all along... there's been so much stress in me that sometimes i wouldn't know what to do...

have set my mind that i'm not going to get a degree related to what i've studied after ord.. after 3 months training in Thailand, i will be taking sports science... which is what i'm more interested in.. what i want to be in the future? people may say i'm stupid or i have no future... but my dream is to be a close combat sports instructor and go for competitions.. this is the dream i wanted all along...