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Sunday, August 31, 2008



I hated you alot... Even your pure face which made me so happy.. I hated myself even more for miserably thinking... That after I woke up from this sleep, that you'd come back.. Now I made a promise that I wont keep, to forget everything about you.. In the memories, I am getting more and more weary....

Come back to me if you're not too far.. If you still love me, I am still waiting for you right here... If you already forgot about me,I'll wait a little more.. Its been such a long time since you've left, I forgot everything including our loving memories... But i dont know why these tears are falling.. I walk down the street where I met you, am I having a hard time again? I say to myself, that I can laugh it all off, I kept telling myself that I dont have not even one memory of you left....

Its really late... You already left, But I cant forget you.. I believed that I forgot you.. But really, I believed that you'd surely come back... Maybe I have to hate you and miss you till the end.... When you left I had a harder time.. Please come back to me baby... If you remember me again, If you come back to me again, I am always here in this place waiting..

meaningful source.

The story of Leaf, Tree and Wind.

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn'task her to stay......

Tree_____________People call me "Tree". I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love alot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, goodfigure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was thatI felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I wasalso afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn'thave to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made heraccompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me ademanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off.The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want toknow what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccertraining to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her.There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on hercharacter she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, Istill sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & jokingwith me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not knowdeep down inside I was hurt too.When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later thatday, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my breakup.Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her gettingtogether. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes.Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure isbecause of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

-Leaf_______________People call me Leaf.During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy asbuddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt afeeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hidmy happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since heloves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know hislikes, his habits.But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect mea girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Carefor him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered ifI should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf leftthe tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.

-Wind________________Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playingsoccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away.""It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...-------------------------------------

Moral_____________________In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world.It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever...It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

Monday, August 25, 2008

SHIOK. just finish training and i feel so refresh! but.. But... BUT! 2000hr book in! SIAN. really really really very sian. 2 more weeks to POP. please please NO MORE CHIONG SUA! NO MORE JUNGLE! everyday wear same old chiong sua 4 put camo and powder bath. OMG i smell like shit in jungle! eating combat ration everyday until i'm left with bones at the end of the day due to malnutrition!

SI BOTAK!


TIMBRE.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

back to booking in... and it's early today cos my coy is the first to book out on fri.. and so went for training straight on fri and sat... i miss the feeling of training.. went to en dining with lun and jj... it's our 2nd time there.. i suggested to go there cos the food is so damn great... and also we miss japanese cuisine man! food was great as usual.. i continue ordering and eating after they had stopped... after that we went to timbre to chill out, listen to live band and had a glass of beer.. and so, i ordered 1 pizza to eat again... it was like 15 mins after our dinner.. i know i know... but i just wanna eat.. lol! anyway one good thing i like now is my body mass has gone up by 3kg... so i'm a 59! am almost the same size with my coach.. both are small size... but training to be like him one day!

well it's been only 2 months plus.. but i'm kindda sick of being in the army... my dream of being a combat instructor is gone cos they have no intake for my batch.. i'm starting to hate the regimental life inside.. my fitness level had drop tremendously during bmt and it really demoralises me alot... hoping to get into nspi after pop so that at least i could be what i really wanna be.. a police inspector... at least i could go home everyday and see my family, friends and train as per normal in gym.. HELP ME.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


Sunday, August 10, 2008

and again time passes so fast.. i'm going back in again... each and everytime before booking in my mood just aint good.. because i know i have to leave everything behind for the time being... i have to leave my dad, my friends, training, fighting, gym.. gonna go back to the jungle again...

the one to look upon to. George St. Pierre