i'm nobody's man... you're somebody's girl..

i know this is the second blog of the day... but this is what i feel in the night.. i dunno why... but i'm going to pour out whatever i've kept so long.. this really hurts alot... mah heart is really very pain.. mah tears are running dry... i really hate mahself.. why... why must i do stupid things and regret in the end.. why must i act like i'm living better off now... why must i act i'm alright in front of everyone.. why is mah heart so painful when i see her loving him so much... i'm sorry.. i'm so sorry i'm like this at the wrong time... i think for so long.. i know... i have to let go.. and wish they will be a happy couple... i know he will treat her good.. all i've come to think... yes i know.. i have to be a gentleman... i have to let down what i've let go.. but this is just by saying.. you know what i really want.. deep inside me i really want her back.. but they are so deeply in love... i'm sorry i love you the wrong time.. friends, friend's friend... everyone told me how painful they are when they have problems with their girl.. i acted like i could give them advise... like i could console them like i tried to lie to mahself.. do anyone know how i really felt.. no... it's been more than a year... i really miss you alot.. i could only be comfortable when i with you... i could only feel normal when we watch movies together.. i could only feel right when we go out for a walk... i could only feel warmth when we just go out for a simple meal together.. i thought that time could heal everything... no it didnt.. it just adds on what hurts me more... she won't have feelings for me anymore.. i know... cause there's nothing left of me inside her.. i really hate this feeling... having to come conscious everyday and the thought of her comes to mah mind.. i really hate it... i really hate to act i'm a happy person when i'm feeling so painful.. but how... no one could help me..